The Secret of Monkey Island: Insult Swordfighting script

You fight like a dairy farmer.

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish-kabob!

First you'd better stop waving it around like a feather-duster.

You're no match for my brains, you poor fool.

I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.

This is the end for you, you gutter-crawling cur!

And I've got a TIP for you. Get the POINT?

There are no words for how disgusting you are.

Yes there are. You just never learned them.

I'm not going to take your insolence sitting down!

Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

People fall at my feet when they see me coming.

Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

I've heard you are a contemptible sneak.

Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all.

My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!

So you got that job as janitor, after all.

If your brother's like you, better to marry a pig.

Every word you say to me is stupid.

My last fight ended with my hands covered in blood.

You are a pain in the backside, sir!

Your hemmorhoids are flaring up again, eh?

My sword is famous all over the Caribbean!

Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all.

There are no clever moves that can help you now.

Yes there are. You just never learned them.

I will milk every drop of blood from your body!

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape.

My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island!

So you got that job as janitor, after all.

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